Can You Say Freak???

Email #1:

Hey
What's up ? How are you this fine Sunday? Love can be so difficult.
Sometimes, It can be over faster than shit out of a goose.I would like to have a best friend
first and then work towards a long term reltaionship.I am an internationally
known nice guy.People call me "Mike Love" or if I am dressed in drag,"Michelle
Love" Anyway, I will always treat you with respect and dignity. Remember, it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.Have a fun day! love Mike

Email #2:

hi,
How are you today? For once in my life, I want to experience passion.
I want a true romantic romantic relationship.A Valentines Day wedding
would be so cool.Yesterday,I bought a new girdle.When I wear it,I feel so sexy.LOL! I hope you're having a fun Monday.Rock on! love mike



This guy raises a few questions/concerns: Is "Faster than shit out of a goose" really an expression? How does one become an "internationally known nice guy"? What is the deal with you dressing in drag? And would you steal my clothes?